Quarrel on a timer: psychologists have identified a critical point beyond which relationships can become destabilized

Many people consider conflicts in relationships to be a sign of problems, but in fact their absence may indicate that resentment and misunderstanding are being suppressed. Psychologists emphasize that it is not the fact of the dispute itself that is more important, but the way it is conducted, its duration and results.

Conflicts can serve as a way to release pent-up emotions and allow you to discuss what has been postponed. In healthy relationships, an argument usually lasts from 5 to 20 minutes – this is enough time to express your feelings without resorting to personal attacks.

However, if the argument drags on for an hour or more, this can lead to a loss of control. In such cases, arguments are replaced by attacks on weak points, which destroys the relationship instead of strengthening it.

An interesting fact is that in strong families, conflicts are usually short and constructive. Partners try to focus on the problem, not on proving their own right.

Regular conflicts can be a sign of a healthy relationship if they end with dialogue and reconciliation. It is much worse when a couple is engaged in a “cold war” — a silent ignoring of each other, as a result of which intimacy is destroyed.

The tone in which the conversation is conducted is also important. High levels of emotion, shouting and insults can turn a constructive argument into a toxic one. Sometimes it is best to take a break to avoid unnecessary words.

The ability to admit your mistakes and apologize is another key marker of a mature relationship. This is not a weakness, but a sign that partners value the connection above their own ambitions.

As a result, conflicts can be beneficial for relationships. They help to better understand each other and make them more dynamic. The main thing is that quarrels end in reconciliation. The sooner partners return to peaceful conversation, the stronger their relationship becomes.